Many people have enquired about the little packets of biscuits I constantly eat on the sidelines. Well, let me illustrate the Nairn's oat biscuit range through our wonderful team.

Huw: Nairn's Cheese Oatcakes. I find these a bit questionable as I don't think the cheese needs to be dehydrated and inserted inside the oatcake. I also found Huw's cheeky foot placement questionable, as did the umpire.

Paul: Nairn's Scottish Oatcakes. No, as far as I know Paul isn't Scottish, but a mysterious lack of players at the start time did lead us to exercise his own fine provenance as a forward. Just as bankable as the Scottish oats branding.

James: Nairn's Fruit & Seed Oatcakes. Like the box says, "Great on the Go". Side-note: for some reason these come in 6 packets of 3 biscuits per box, whereas all other Nairn's oat biscuits come in 4 packs of 5 to 7 biscuits.

Seb: Nairn's Mini Oatcakes. Objectively the smallest of the oatcake range.

Jan: Nairn's Stem Ginger Oat Biscuits. These are advertised as "delightfully intense". That's a compliment, I have some in my cupboard.

Jordan: Nairn's Super Seeded Oatcakes. Jordan's second goal, coming shortly out of half time, was an absolute banger. Slip past the defence, 1-1 the keeper, move to the side and smash it home at a good angle so that it easily bounces in even after the keeper got a touch on it. When I saw it I said "wow, that was super", then I whispered "seeded" but nobody heard.

Jude: Nairn's Coconut & Chia Oat Biscuits. Quite a modern idea but really good!

Cerne: Nairn's Peri Peri Oatcakes. MoM for his spicy CDM play. Also as hard to find on GMS as these are on the Nairn's website, though hopefully not in Cerne's case because he's been discontinued.

Keishi: Nairn's Salted Caramel Oat Biscuits. I find Keishi's play particularly sweet to watch, the annoyance of the players he steals the ball from is palpable.

Andy: Nairn's Dark Chocolate Chip Oat Biscuits. These are my favourite. Andy got my MoM vote for his rock solid defence and pinpoint tackles.

Dan: Nairn's Multigrain Oatcakes. Dan has revealed himself this year as dramatically multi-skilled in goal.

Craig: Nairn's Rough Oatcakes. This one is not my opinion but the umpire's when giving his green card. Nevertheless a damn fine oatcake.

Rob: Nairn's Original Oatcakes. Rob appears to have at least one more year of appearances listed on the website than anyone else on the team.

If anyone would like to try a Nairn's oat biscuit, let me know. I have plenty.