A Tale of Two Halves

Bhav Virdi

A Tale of Two Halves (2018) is a historical novel by Bhav Virdi. It’s set in Dereham and Cambridge before and during the Promotion Battle to Division 1.

This novel tells the story of the British midfielder, Doctor Joel Harrison, and his 12-minute-long suspension during the Battle of Deer & Ham. The novel depicts his release and then his calmness to pass the ball to Mr Harry Lewis, who would score time and time again.

The story is set against one of the most important matches that led up to the Promotion Battle to Division 1 and the Reign of Red Mist in his eyes.

Virdi's famous opening sentence introduces the drama depicted in the book: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, and it was the age of foolishness! It was the season of 2018-2019, a season of great hope. We had everything before us, but the doors were locked! When the doors opened we went into the wrong changing rooms!

When the Battle of Deer & Ham started ,Doctor Joel Harrison had his eyes on victory. Little did he know that his friends James & Thomas; were also there to help him out. Together under the Purple flag they marshalled the companies and stood as a wall in front of the Red Army.

Red’s had one weapon and one weapon only; keep throwing missiles straight through the centre. After about thirty minutes, and two minute suspensions to both James & Thomas, the score was 1-2. Thanks to Harry.

Commander in Chief Stuart Rimmer & Joel had pushed the Red Army deep into their own D and they were never going to get out of their deep trenches. In a matter of great bravery, Doctor Joel Harrison would try to run down the opponents with keenness & got caught out in the battlefield. Some say “It's his keenness to find opponent’s knees that got him caught!” He was sentenced to a long suspension. However in the dying minutes of the half, Owen marshalled through and kept the score 2-2.

Commander in Chief Stuart Rimmer marshalled his troupes again and said, “Man to man, we should be winning hands down! Look at my muscles!” Very impressive!

We had to stop the Red missiles; and Mariano Rosenzvaig had an evil plan! Anything that when up, was brought down calmly by him! Some say, he has magnets in his wand; Virdi in his book says – “His philosophy of life is to grown his beard and scare everyone!” Magnets or Beard, who cares; we stopped the Red Missiles.

When Doctor Joel Harrison was released from the Bastille after a twelve minute suspension during the second half battle; he was a changed man! His single mindedness to search for Harry Lewis in Dereham and ask everyone, “Who is on the post?” resulted in a score line of 5-2. Harry Lewis, Oil Lammingator and Shinwoo Kim’s efforts upfront were bringing fruit.

In the backline an Englishman, a Scotsman, an Indian & an Italian were never troubled! They were seen smoking cigars, eating caviar and drinking wine, while Doctor Joel Harrison was trying to find his family friends and Harry Lewis. They really didn’t care! Special mention to The Daring Farmer; who was visionary enough to understand that even if I passed back to the Reds they won’t score.

In the end the Battle of Deer & Ham finished at 5-3!

Commander in Chief Stuart Rimmer was gifted a compass to help him with left & right. He could now successful return to Cambridge with that compass.

James Bailey wore a beautiful jacket.

Joel was gifted a wooden spoon!

Harry Lewis was given the Victoria Cross!

Promotion Battle to Division 1 goes on. Yes, this is just part seven of the novel and fifteen more parts will be published in coming weeks.


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Harry Lewis
Man of the Match

3 good goals

Most of the Time Flakey Joel
Lemon of the Match

10 minute rest on the sidelines...