On the day England TRIED but failed to win the Rugby World Cup, South M5s faired better at home to the IVES SAINTS.

At the pre-match team RUCK at 10.29 we were a bare eleven but a well-balanced side of MSG in goal, four defenders and three each of midfielders and attackers. The rainy skies opened but more noticeable was the wind: a severe gale according to the BILL BEAUMONT scale. All good matches start with a “1-2-3 South” and every one kept good stick discipline - no HOOKERs in there.

The game started evenly with the two midfields battling it out for possession. It was a real SCRUM at times. A few minutes in and The Rock suffered an UP AND OVER resulting in a KNOCK ON his back that saw him watch the remainder of the game from the side lines. What a PENALTY to pay. Get well soon, Al.

South took the lead after a great move up the left. Wilco found his FLANKER Thomas, who beat his man and split the defence with a quick ball to Barton in the D, whose reverse stick sweep found the far corner. One-nil.

The game resettled until reinforcements arrived in the form of Ian, Howard and Jo CHARGING DOWN to the pitch which lead to renewed enthusiasm in the team. Dant in particular was penetrating to the TOUCH LINE and looking to pull back for the textbook tap-ins. The rest of the first half flew by…in fact the whole thirty-five minutes could be described as a FLY HALF. There was just time for another attack up the right wing but the ball was pushed down the LINE OUT.

Talk at the break was about continuing in the same vein – solid at the back and do not DROP GOAL threats. The midfield were working tirelessly and the defence of David, Ky and Howard, marshalled by skipper Sean, looked impenetrable. Steed in particular was mopping up early to keep the ball away from our 22 METRE LINE.

The South pressure built slowly and an accidental SPEAR TACKLE from the opposition saw the second or third short of the match awarded to South. Jelley’s smooth injection was dispatched with aplomb by Barton. Two-nil.

Saint-Gower had little to save from Saints but they had their chances and a couple of important blocks ensured the visitors couldn’t come back into the game.

Pressure was building at the other end until a thigh-high ball was controlled by Paul South’s knee which saw him spend some time in the BLOOD BIN. It’s a shame, he’s a good EGG. CHASING further goals the team continued to push and Barton secured a hat-trick with an instinctive deflection after great work from Jo, Wilco and Ian on the right. Three-nil.

Jelley self-substituted after what looked like a foul was blown against him, the umpire indicating he'd spotted an earlier back stick. Both Jelley and Marshman were controlling the midfield by now and the tide well and truly swung South’s way as Saints tired. A further series of shorts provided the fourth and final goal. This time Paul striking cleanly from the OFFSIDE low on to the backboard. South for South. 4-0.

The MoM award went to Thomas Grove. Another great performance and just centimetres away from his first ever South goal. Patience, young man. It will come, I promise!

Despite some player absenteeism it was LoM for the England Rugby Team, their sweet chariot swinging just a bit too low.