Before you start reading this, please take caution as this is a barrage to the senses – a whirlwind of, at times, unrelated, incoherent and fragmented information and personas that may assault your mind – I assume it’s a bit like taking acid or licking frogs.

I think it should also be noted that this has not been written completely sober.

To (sort of) prepare you for what is about to happen, I would precis this piece with the quote:

“It is better to live one day as a lion than 100 years as a sheep.” – There will be points for guessing the root of these quotations at the end.

Anyway.

Look – here is your headline: Sebastian Dias banged it from the top of the D and it went in. It was lovely and everyone got well excited.

BUT, some things are bigger than sport; some things are bigger than the hallowed astroturf beneath our feet on a chilly and damp November morn (I would suggest preparing yourself for the sense of this as if a preparing yourself for a conversation with a recently lobotomised farm animal – it is going to have even less relevant content than this: Cambridge South Hockey Club | Spandex (85%) Ballet – although there is a little clue, an easter egg if you must, in this report that the eagle-eyed among you may find relevant to one of the later topics).

‘U wot, m8?’ I hear you call from your leant position next to the Wealdstone Raider™.

‘I woz ere to no lyk goals n stuf,’ you continue to proclaim through your mouthful of Pukka Pie™.

Alas, if this were your intention, then, please – I implore you, be ready to be profoundly disappointed, yet duly educated, for this week, we must look beyond the realms of ball and stick, and look at ourselves as people – people as a part of society and the wider world as a whole for we share this dear planet as one (for a more meaningful and less patronising approach to the world beyond hockey please see some of my earlier, and beter, work: Cambridge South Hockey Club | Right now, hockey really doesn’t matter, but maybe that’s why it does…).

Friendships and Hygiene.

Hygiene and Friendships.

It doesn’t matter which way around you put these two topics – they are commutative – so read them in whichever order you wish.

Friendships

Sport brings people together. Cambridge South is a social club that has brought many people together, including lifelong partners. It is beautiful.

I like Jamie and value him as a teammate and as a friend.

This Saturday, it was made clear that he does not reciprocate this as he, while being my team mate, blocked my shot (please see the following for what the likely outcome would have been if not for his spiteful and hate-ridden intervention: Cambridge South Hockey Club | Cometh the Hour, Cometh the Man… His Name is Tom Anns and He is a Goal Scorer Again!).

The week’s quoter once said, ‘We become strong, I feel, when we have no friends upon whom to lean, or to look to for moral guidance.’

Now, this quote feels like a poor judgement call so I’m not going to follow this mystery person and, instead, use this platform, the world wide web as invented by Sir Tim Berners-Lee in, aptly 1989 (my year of birth), to invite Jamie to a formal mediation session to iron out whatever hatred he is harbouring towards me that meant that he did not want me to score this goal.

I wish him only love and happiness.

Hygiene

Sadly, the decline of team baths after sport began from around the 1970s with it steepening in the 90s before all but disappearing by the end of the 20th century (history lesson too – we are all here to learn). But the team shower not only survived, but thrived. Tom Marchant, a previous South stalwart (referenced heavily in: Cambridge South Hockey Club | Do We Like or LIKE Like Him?), even took it to the extent of freshening up the inside as well as the outside of the human body by introducing shower mints (see aforementioned easter egg).

It is vital that we, as a team, look out for each other, not only on the pitch, but also off it and as people – both in body and in mind. Personal hygiene is incredibly important. Why? Well, let’s ask the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) or maybe the World Health Organization (WHO) or, I don’t know, maybe the National Health Service (NHS), who basically say that good personal hygiene is important because it prevents disease, protects others, and supports overall physical, social, and emotional wellbeing.

What was that? That’s just a broad statement with overly general references? And that’s not a reason to shower after matches? Well, strap yourselves in because this guy has got some cold, hard research coming your way.

So why should we shower? Well, clearly you haven’t read the research by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) from 2020 who found that the prevention of MRSA in athletic environments highlights showering after activities as an important hygiene practice. Or maybe you were busy in 2021 when the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD) outlined that showering after sweat-producing activities as key to preventing odour-causing bacterial growth.

Someone said something about warm showers promoting blood flow, which may help muscle relaxation and reduce stiffness after intense physical activity. Oh sorry, did I say someone? I meant that it was a part of the 2014 Cochrane Review on post-exercise recovery.

And, to add to this, a quote from this week’s quoter: “The health of the people is the first law of the State.”

‘That’s just the physical body though,’ I hear you chime. Well, tell Carron & Eys (2012) that! Their publication, ‘Group Dynamics in Sport’, absolutely love a team shower. They say that it reinforces a sense of unity, shared routine, and camaraderie and that they normalise the post-game cooldown and reduce stigma around body image by fostering a healthy, inclusive team environment. And, yes, that is Albert Carron who is considered one of the world’s foremost experts on group cohesion in sport and is Professor Emeritus at Western University in Canada.

End of evidence….for now.

 

And that, finally brings us to a close. Cheers.

The time has come to reveal this week’s quotation host. It’s our coach Sam’s inspiration*: the fascist dictator and all round not good guy, Benito Mussolini. In his own words – ‘It’s good to trust others but, not to do so is much better’.

*It is really important to caveat this with the fact that Sam in no way (to our knowledge) supports Mussolini, his values, or fascism as a whole in anyway and this part has been added to the report simply to see if he reads it. Myself and the club as a whole also do not support or idealise anything to do with any fascist regimes of any sort.

This is further caveated by this warning from chatgpt:

Safer takeaway

If you’re looking for quotes about discipline, teamwork, competition, courage, or determination, there are far better sources that do not carry fascist ideology (e.g., Mandela, Wooden, Lombardi, Jordan).