60 players turned up for the close of season and end of training extravaganza. All teams were high in spirits and nervous for the fleeting chance of glory to come. Congratulations to all Cath's 4am saints for lifting the invisible trophy* (and everyone else too, I suppose, for taking part). Acting as time keeper, discipline panel and league manager I had little time to see the games but each captain has provided their own little highlight reel based off the games they played.
| Team | Wins | Draws | Losses | Goals for | Goals against | Goal Difference | Points |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| The 4am stop outs | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 5 | 2 | 10 |
| Real Scots have Mc in their name | 3 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 7 | 2 | 9 |
| Long Range Shooting | 2 | 1 | 2 | 10 | 8 | 2 | 7 |
| The Prancing Ponies | 2 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 7 | -1 | 7 |
| The NHS Tourists | 1 | 2 | 2 | 5 | 7 | -2 | 5 |
| The Parrots | 1 | 1 | 3 | 7 | 10 | -3 | 4 |
| Team Average | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 |
Highlights from Team Average (Team No Show)
Team: Average (c)
After coming last at every club day event so far Dave Aston decided to boycott this years festivity citing bias in team selection (i.e. his team always had him on it). His name is therefore added to the bottom of the league table on 0 points, making no difference to the fact he did not turn up. He informs me that Emmerdale was excellent and that if you do not watch it live you really miss out.
Highlights from The Parrots (Team Blue)
Team: Christian Pearson (c), Andrew Thomas, Elizabeth Dunsby, Georgina Hurford Whitehead, Laurie McKenzie, Meg Barne, Oliver Lamming, Rasmus Petersen, Simon Cooper, Jen Kingslake
Dear Diary
Uh-oh - the tournament is on a week day. Where is my dedicated preparation and hydration time? After winning the inaugural club day event I felt it was my time to shine again. Three tournaments is a long time to go without a trophy. I could also definitely show everyone that it is me not Craig who provide the flare to the men's ones. To do this I decided to show everyone that hockey is not the only sport where I excel so I brought a football to have a little kick about before hand. Unfortunately while attempting one of my normally perfect trick shots the ball rebounded off the cross bar and hit me in the face! Someone must of moved the goal a few millimeters out of place. As I was suffering from probable concussion, my team struggled on without my skills and leadership. Simon Cooper even went as far as letting the ball past him to an attacker right in front of the goal as he did not think they could catch up with a ball rolling towards them... In my dazed state there was little I could do until the final game when the world just about stopped spinning. We were awesome and spanked the cocky Reds 3-1.
What did I learn from this? Hockey is a much better sport than football, male parrots have periods (thank you Dr Capt Hurford-Whitehead) and all I really want is a hug.
Highlights from The NHS Tourists (Team Yellow)
Team: Paresh Parsot (c), Chris Richardson, Dom Nelson, Esmé Veldhuizen, Hannah Kenyon, Laura Ludlow, Namoi Penfold, Naomi Wake, Simon Frampton, Alan Radford
The most organised team, with each player being issued a play-book with three different formations to adopt depending on the current game situation, score line and transverse of Neptune. After Jack nicked the schedule (as he works in the public sector so could not afford to print one of his own), things did end up as a free-for-all. Hannah, Esme and Alan's total hockey looked impressive with seamless changes in position. Dom's awesome goal line saves were spectacular - hopefully he has not been injured and can still play this Saturday. Captain Paresh became so engrossed in watching and taking notes on a rival team that he forgot to bring himself on in one of his own games.
"But the important thing in Club Day is not to triumph but to compete…not victory but combat…not to have vanquished but to have fought well…not winning but taking part." - Parsot 2015, captain of the second from bottom NHS Tourists.
Highlights from The Prancing Ponies (Team Pink)
Team: Kim Cooil (c), Adrian Dudd, Bex Baker, Douglas Gibson, Howard Steed, Laura Edge, Laurie Haslop,Lottie Alves, Saskia Molekamp, Wilco Dijkstra
The first quite literal highlight was giving out the day glow war paint and watching Wilco paint his entire face a pink so luminous he could of passed as the fourth flamingo.
With Kimbo bossing the midfield and Adrian mopping up at the back the Ponies managed to take all 3 points off the McScotts, ending their title challenge.
Other games were eventful for the utter humiliation of the men's 1st team squad. From watching Pearson spend most of the pink/blue game rolling round on the floor to watching Paresh getting absolutely sold by a dummy and skinned by a girl (who cannot be named), leaving him also lying in a heap on the floor only to recover just in time to get a stick behind but fail to stop the worlds slowest miss-hit pea-roller from trickling into the goal. He then subbed himself off head bent low in shame.
Highlights from Long Ranged Shooting (Team Red)
Team: Joe Whittaker (c), Charlotte Moss, Eimear Lee, Jack Robertson, Janette Murphy, Jimmy Hockley, Katharine Hill, Owen Vaughan, Simon Jelley, Sophie McComish
So near yet so far. We were the long term leaders, the people's choice to lift the trophy but alas fate intervened and we ended up in a distant 3rd place on goal difference. Critical losses to the Blacks and Blues cost us in the end. We started so well with 5 players present at 7:30 for a seven aside tournament. Luckily we were not on first and Owen sprinted into view and Jack R leisurely strolled onto the pitch just as the whistle blew for our first game. What a start! 7 goals scored in our first two games with tournament top scorer Sophie leading the line. Scoring a hat-trick is hard enough in 70 minutes let alone 9! The wheels however eventually fell off. After we ended the Oranges title challenge we slipped up against the Black team. With nothing left to play for we even lost to the Blues. Goal difference was still being calculated when we left but I am confident our free scoring style would have won through in the end.
Highlights from Real Scotts have Mc in their Name (Team Orange)
Team: Emma Farlie (c), Ali Edge, Colin Troll, Ian Marshman, Jason Mann, Jessica Robins, Lauren Brown, Liz Faulkner, Shin Kim, Iona Walker
- Colin playin' by th' rules o' na ariels instead th' birl (or whitevur he is cawin it!) alang th' back line!
- Jess' epic defending skills but managing tae support th' enemy #whosaforward?
- Emma's tripping up Laurie Haslop fur bein' a jobby social sec!
- Ali 'n' Ian's braw take the motor thro' th' centur ploughing intae anythin' that git in th' way!
- Jason saving goalie pure class think he forgot aboot th' padding
- Shin...... Whit kin ye say!
- Liz & Iona totally attacked ainlie wee jimmies!
- Beating th' 4am saints in th' final game tae halt thaim winnin' th' grand slam.
Highlights from The 4am Saints (Team Black)
Team: Cath Anthony (c), Andrew Fraser, Anne Horan, Craig Spencer, Daniella Kilsby-Steele, Louise Gutteridge, Neil Sneade, Simon Ta, Tom Rosselli, Lucy Bucknell
We won.
Dani scored an own goal - despite this rule being abolished.
We won.
Colin's spinney thing (no aerials for him this year) - it was so impressive we let his team win that match.
We won.
Simon Ta attacking ferociously against the men but politely allowing the girls to run around him- what a gent.
We won.
Winning comfortably and confidently (and coming higher than Emma's team given we lost to them by 1 point last time even though we won our game against them) - oh how the tables have turned, the 6 wooden spoon in the six nations and now this, year of the dragon.
Winning 4 games! - I had forgot that this could happen.
Did I mention we won?
* The real club day trophy has been stolen. Some say it was accidentally thrown away after being mistaken for a hockey ball glued to some skirting board rather than a treasured club heirloom, others that it was smuggled into the USA by an exiled member of the club in some convoluted revenge scheme. If you know of its whereabouts please contact MI6, the FBI or Colin.